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Subject: A little humor

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Dave Smith    Posted 12-04-2017 at 17:12:38 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [Email]  
  • A little humor

  • After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots ("P") and solutions recorded ("S") by maintenance engineers:

    P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit
    S: Something tightened in cockpit

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what friction locks are for.

    P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget

    steveVa    Posted 12-04-2017 at 17:54:34 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [No Email]  
  • Re: A little humor
  • That was good. Thank you.

    Doctor Doctor it hurts when I do this!!! Well said the Doctor "Don't do that"
    That will be $100.00...

    Island Mike    Posted 12-04-2017 at 18:16:25 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [Email]  
  • Re: A little humor
  • The brunette patient said " It hurts when I touch my knee, it hurts when I touch my arm, it hurts when I touch everywhere "

    The doctor said " You are really a blonde aren't you, your fingers broken "

    Island Mike

    Island Mike    Posted 12-04-2017 at 17:49:40 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [Email]  
  • Re: A little humor
  • Google: Quanta gripe sheet notes.
    Do they look familiar?

    Island Mike

    Charles(NC)    Posted 12-04-2017 at 17:18:19 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [No Email]  
  • Re: A little humor
  • Golly,,,Heeee,,Heee! This is so funny.I've got to read it again.

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