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Dave Smith    Posted 01-12-2019 at 11:51:11 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [Email]  
  • Books never written
  • Books never written

    We used to think these up in third grade and the great thing about them is that I still think they're funny now.
    1. The Yellow River by I.P. Daily

    2. The Numbers Game by Cal Q. Later

    3. Under the Bleachers by Seymour Butts

    4. Rusty Bed Springs by I.P. Freeley

    5. Twenty Yards to the Outhouse by Willie Makit, illustrated by Betty Wont and published by Andy Dint

    6. Spots on the Wall by Hugh Flung Poo

    7. Falling Off a Cliff by Eileen Dover

    8. The Complete Proctologist's Handbook by Ben Dover

    9. The Joys of Drinking by Al Coholic

    10. My Life with Igor by Frank N. Stein

    11. Supporting Athletes by Jacques Strappe

    12. Things That Itch by Mike Rotch

    13. I Was Prepared by Justin Case

    14. Small Treasures in the Toilet Bowl by I.P. Nickels

    15. What Makes a Good Thief by Ian Yerhous

    16. Waiting in Line for the Bathroom by Ivana Tinkle

    17. Practical proctology by Bea Hind

    18. The future of robotics by Cy Borg and Anne Droid

    19. What to do if you're in a car accident by Rhea Ender

    20. How Things Work by Wyatt Dunne

    21. Breathing Lessons by Hal E. Tosis

    22. Why Should I Walk? by Iona Carr

    23. Deep in Debt by Owen A. Lott

    24. The Most and the Least by Maxi & Minnie Mum

    25. How to Get Good Grades by B.A. Wiseman

    26. The Sun by Sol Ar

    27. Blazing! by Lotta Heat

    28. Computer Memory by Meg A. Byte

    29. Gotta Go by C. U. Leiter

    30. Can't Go There by Hans Off

    31. Card Suits by Di A. Mond

    32. Checking Your Homework by R.U. Wright

    33. The Membership List by Ross Terr

    34. Manwich by "Slop" E. Joe

    35. The Giant Clock Tower by Big Ben

    36. All About Flowers by Chris Anthymum

    37. Short Shorts by Daisy Duke

    38. Boy Scout Brigade by Pat Troll

    39. The Lost Scout by Werram Eye

    40. Late for Work by Dr. Wages

    41. Kitty's Revenge by Claude Balls

    42. Brown Streaks Across the Desert by Who Flung Dung

    43. Ten Years in the Bathtub by Rink Lee Prune

    44. Antlers in the Tree Top by Hugh Goostamooce

    45. Tiger in the Bathroom by Heidi Ingthe Tub

    46. How to Eat Cereal by Poor A. Bowl

    47. Smelly Stuff by Anita Bath

    48. Being Lonely by Shenita Mann.

    49. Technology in the 21st century by Rob Ott

    50. A Hitchiker's Guide To Not Getting Killed by Ren Tacar

    51. Gotta Go To The Bathroom by Think L. Maket, Illustrated by Betty Went, Published by Doris Laukt

    52. Blue Darts by Hugh Gexplo Zhun

    53. Bubbles in the Bath by Ivor Windybottom

    54. Can't Sit Still by Ivan Auflitch

    55. Microsoft Business Practices by Eve Hill

    56. I Must Go Again by D. I. Aria

    57. Interesting Places Around The World by Ben There & Don That

    58. Paris Monuments by I. Phil Taurer

    59. Text Editing by E. Max and Vi

    60. The Bearded Chinaman by Harry Chin

    61. How to Exercise by Eileen and Ben Dover

    62. 100 Ways to Diet by I. M. Hungry

    63. Getting Fired by Anita Job

    64. Crossing a Man with a Duck by Willie Waddle

    65. A Sailor's Adventure by Ron A. Ground

    66. Green Vegetables by Brock Ali

    67. Never Shave Again by Harry Pitts

    68. Long Walk Home by Miss. D. Bus

    69. Sitting on the Beach by Sandy Baum

    70. Window Coverings by Kurt and Rod

    71. Wheels in China by Rick Shaw

    72. How To Dance by Sheik Yerbouti

    73. Something Smells by I. Ben Pharting

    74. I.Q. Competitions by Samar T. Pants

    75. The Secret of Touching Your Toes by Ben Dover

    76. The View of the Skyline by Bill Ding

    77. My Life as a Gas Station Attendant by Phil R. Awp

    78. What Evita Left Behind by Oliver Shoes

    79. Your Private Life Makes National News by Holly Wood

    80. Hot Wiring by Nick Carrs & Joy Ryder

    81. Easy Money by Robyn Banks

    82. The Sedan Chair by Carrie Walker

    83. The Science of Optometry by Seymour Clearly

    84. The last supper by M. T. Potts.

    85. How to Destroy Buildings by Dyna Might

    86. Transportation in the Middle Ages by Orson Cart

    87. Growing up in the Balkans by Hugo Slavia

    88. The Outboard Motor Died by Rhoda Shaw

    89. Answering the Questions of the Universe by Howard I. Know

    90. How to Write a Mystery Novel by Paige Turner

    91. The Great English Breakfast by Chris P. Bacon

    92. Vacation Spots in the Tropics by Sandy Beech

    93. What Old Cars Have by Rust E. Paint

    94. Torn Fingernails by I. Bightem

    95. The Great Missile Barrage, by Lonch M. Awl

    96. Tight Situation by Leah Tard

    97. Crack in the Sidewalk by Bobby Tript

    98. The Old Bell Tower by Rusty Bell

    99. Meeting in France by Ron DeVous

    100. A Trip to the Dentist by Lord Howard Hurts

    101. Dentist Appointment by Too Thurtee

    102. So Thirsty by Phillip A. Jug

    103. Carnival Rides by Ivana Herl

    104. Swimming in the Ocean by C. Lyons

    105. Walking Tall by G. Raffe

    106. Never Forget by L. E. Phunt

    107. Uninteresting Tales by I. M. Yawning

    108. All About Fences by Barb Dwyer

    109. In the Men's Room by R. U. Dunn

    110. Big Waves by Sue Nami

    111. Out the Window by Hugo Furst

    112. Yellow Spots on the Rug by G.I.P.

    113. Knocked in the Head by I. C. Starrs

    114. Yellow Sky by Pierre

    115. The First Thanksgiving by Ima Pilgrim

    116. Where's Grandma's Purse by Robin Nana

    117. I'm Not Sober by Ivan Drinkon

    118. Saving Peaches by Mason Jar

    119. Looking Out Windows by Seymour Treese

    120. Full Bladder by Betty Wiz

    121. Lullaby by Sarah Nade

    122. Where's My Stuff by I. Ben Robbed

    123. Falling Down by Ima Drunk

    124. Working With Plumbers by Seymour Crack

    125. Desert Crossing by I. Rhoda Kamel

    126. I Wrote a Book by Talmee Moar

    127. Talking to Dentists by Phil McCavity

    128. Car Rental by Naomo R. Woking

    129. Not Going To Do It by Ida Wanna

    130. Complete Guide to Prenatal Care by I. M. Leight

    131. I Know What You're Thinking by Clair Voyant

    132. Over the Cliff by Hugo Furst

    133. Overpopulation in Hawaii by Kimona Wanalaya

    134. Relive Aunt Edna's Oriential Cooking by Chu Sum Pu

    135. Making Jugs by Clay Potter

    136. The Bartender's Manual by Phyllis Glass

    137. How To Be a Butler by Ansel Theodore

    SteveVa    Posted 01-13-2019 at 07:35:39 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [No Email]  
  • Re: Books never written
  • 138. Hole in the bed by Mister Completely.

    Tim Daley(MI)    Posted 01-13-2019 at 06:46:48 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [No Email]  
  • Re: Books never written
  • You need to add: "I INVENTED THE INTERNET" and "THE SKY IS FALLING -GLOBAL WARMING/CLIMATE CHANGE IS REAL" both by ALGORE, and can be found in the FICTION section in the library.

    Tim Daley(MI)

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