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David D. Smith    Posted 04-10-2019 at 10:20:19 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [Email]  

  • > Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things, thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.


    > Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose co-ordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach, and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.

    > Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature, requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.

    > So if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.


    > Nine Important Facts to Remember as We Grow Older

    > #9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.

    > #8 Life is sexually transmitted.

    > #7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    > #6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

    > #5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.

    > #4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

    > #3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    > #2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    > #1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.

    Frank (WNY)    Posted 04-10-2019 at 12:31:12 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [Email]  
  • That is so true!

    I just got this from my wife:

    Kevin had shingles.

    Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate this!
    Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?

    Here's what happened to Kevin:
    Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
    Fifteen minutes later a nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had....
    Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.
    A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, 'Shingles..' So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
    An hour later the doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the nude and asked Kevin what he had.
    Kevin said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'

    Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck.
    Where do you want me to unload 'em??'

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