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Subject: Phyllis the whistleblower

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John in Mich    Posted 09-26-2019 at 14:52:13 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [No Email]  
  • Phyllis the whistleblower
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    Phyllis Dillerisms...

    Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
    -Phyllis Diller

    Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
    -Phyllis Diller

    Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.
    -Phyllis Diller

    The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
    -Phyllis Diller

    Best way to get rid of kitchen odors:
    Eat out.
    -Phyllis Diller

    A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
    -Phyllis Diller

    I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
    -Phyllis Diller

    Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
    -Phyllis Diller

    Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
    -Phyllis Diller

    We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.
    -Phyllis Diller

    Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
    -Phyllis Diller

    What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
    -Phyllis Diller

    The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
    -Phyllis Diller

    His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.
    -Phyllis Diller

    Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
    -Phyllis Diller

    My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
    -Phyllis Diller

    Tranquillizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
    -Phyllis Diller

    I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?'
    He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
    -Phyllis Diller

    The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
    -Phyllis Diller

    You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
    -Phyllis Diller

    Dean    Posted 09-28-2019 at 10:05:34 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [No Email]  
  • Re: Phyllis the whistleblower
  • Love it, John.

    Phyllis Diller was very funny and all without a trace of profanity.

    Dean

    John in Mich    Posted 09-28-2019 at 18:11:28 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [No Email]  
  • Re: Phyllis the whistleblower
  • Absolutely. A side note, before Diller was famous she was a neighbor to my wife's Aunt and Uncle, Ypsilanti, Mi. In June, 1962, Diller was appearing in Detroit and they met up in Diller's dressing room before her performance.

    poderac    Posted 09-28-2019 at 18:56:52 [URL] [DELETE]        [Reply] [No Email]  
  • Re: Phyllis the whistleblower
  • I met her, Bob Hope, and others as we prepared the stage for her in Viet Nam.

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